Ayaan finishes his paragraph early and gets it right. His teacher is pleased and, without really thinking about it, says across the room, “everyone, look at what Ayaan’s done!”
A few pupils turn round. Someone leans over to see his book.
Ayaan says nothing. He pulls the book towards him and looks down at the desk.
The praise was genuine. The teacher had noticed something good and wanted to recognise it. But by the end of the lesson, Ayaan seems more interested in avoiding attention than in the success that caused it.
That is the difficulty with praise: what feels encouraging to the person giving it does not always feel that way to the person receiving it.
Praise does not land the same way for everyone
Most teachers praise pupils for good reasons. They want to build confidence, acknowledge effort and let children know when something has gone well.
For many pupils, public recognition does exactly that. They enjoy hearing their name mentioned, having their work shown or receiving a certificate in assembly.
Others would rather disappear under the table.
This is worth thinking about for SEND learners, but not because there is one particular ‘SEND response’ to praise. There isn’t.
One autistic pupil may enjoy having their achievement announced. Another may find the sudden attention uncomfortable.
If a learner prefers a quiet ‘I noticed what you did there’, that should not be treated as a lesser form of success
Meanwhile, a learner with ADHD may love an enthusiastic response one day and feel embarrassed by the same thing another day. Personality, mood, anxiety, sensory load and previous experience can all play a part.
So the question is not, ‘what kind of praise works for SEND pupils?’ It is, ‘what seems to work for this pupil?’
When a compliment carries pressure
Sometimes praise comes with an unintended extra message.
“That was brilliant – I knew you could do it when you really tried.”
An adult may mean, ‘I’m proud of you’. A pupil may hear, ‘if I struggle next time, people will think I didn’t try’.
Or take: ‘Everyone look at Amir’s work. This is exactly what you should all be doing.’
The teacher is recognising good work. Amir, meanwhile, may suddenly be dealing with thirty pairs of eyes, comments from classmates and the feeling that his work now belongs to the room rather than to him.
Even very enthusiastic praise can miss its target. “That is AMAZING! Absolutely incredible!”
Some pupils love that energy. Others may not know what to do with it. And if the praise is only emotional, it may tell them little about what actually went well.
A calmer comment might be more useful: “Your explanation is clear because you used the key words accurately.” That gives the pupil something concrete to take away.
Words matter, and so does delivery
It is easy to focus on choosing the ‘right’ phrase, but the way praise is delivered matters just as much.
A quiet comment at the desk can feel completely different from the same words announced to the class. A note in a book may work better for one pupil than spoken praise; another learner may barely notice written feedback but respond well to a short conversation.
Praise and feedback are not the same thing
Some pupils enjoy having their work displayed. Others may want to be asked first. Adults often share strong work because they are proud of the pupil, but asking, ‘would you mind if I showed this example?’ takes only a few seconds and gives the learner some control over what happens next.
Sometimes the best information comes from simply noticing. If a pupil repeatedly looks uncomfortable when praised publicly but responds well to a private comment, that pattern is telling us something.
Say something useful
General praise still has a place. A ‘well done’ can be warm, spontaneous and meaningful. But when teachers want praise to support learning, specificity helps.
Compare ‘brilliant work!’ with ‘your conclusion is much clearer because you linked it back to the evidence’. The first tells the learner the adult is pleased. The second tells them why.
Praise and feedback are not quite the same thing. Praise communicates approval. Feedback gives information the learner can use. Often the best response quietly does both.
‘You kept going when the first method didn’t work.‘
‘I noticed you checked your answer before moving on.‘
‘You explained that idea much more clearly this time.‘
None of these need to be delivered with fireworks. They recognise success and help the pupil understand what made the difference.
A few questions worth keeping in mind
Teachers do not need a complicated system for this. A few quick questions can help:
- Does this pupil seem comfortable with public recognition?
- Have I told them what actually went well?
- Am I accidentally comparing them with somebody else?
- Could my wording make success feel like an expectation they now have to meet every time?
- Would this pupil respond better to a quieter or more private form of acknowledgement?
- Do they know what they can take from this success into the next task?
These are not rules. They are prompts to stay curious.
Recognition should still feel like recognition
None of this means praise should become cautious, flat or joyless.
If a pupil loves having their achievement celebrated, celebrate it. If they enjoy certificates, applause or seeing their work displayed, those things can matter enormously.
But if another learner prefers a quiet ‘I noticed what you did there’, that should not be treated as a lesser form of success.
The point is not to praise less. It is to pay more attention to what happens afterwards. Does the learner seem encouraged? Do they understand what went well? Do they want to keep going?
If the answer is yes, the praise has probably done its job. The best recognition is not necessarily the loudest. It is the kind the learner can receive, understand and carry with them into whatever comes next.
